It’s 2017, can we all agree to stop caring about a person’s relationship status and start focusing on what’s important?
One of the most annoying questions anyone can ever be asked is “How are you single?” As if it’s an accident or questionably impossible. I wonder if anyone who is guilty of perpetual single-shaming realizes that maybe it’s possible that my lack of a boyfriend is a choice rather than an accident *GASP.*
I’d like to be forward here and start by saying being single is a choice for me and your compelling need to point out that I’m “alone” displays an insecurity of your own — I’m out here with my goals and circle of people who are silently working for theirs as well.
When you’re a girl who has ambition, you’re constantly moving. You’re hustling, you’re working, you’re doing whatever it takes to reach the top of the mountain.
I’m single because I’m running towards my goals, I’m dodging obstacles, persevering through adversity, and refusing to look backwards or be slowed down by anyone or anything. So if you want to be with me, you have to be willing to keep up and as of right now I haven’t met anyone who can.
This probably sounds cynical/conceited/whatever, but it’s true. I don’t have time to look on the sidelines and find someone watching me succeed, and I definitely won’t date someone whose best view is of my behind – I’m here to win, and if you’re not then you don’t have a place in my future.
My disinterest in giving people the opportunity to date me at the moment stems from my ability to see their lack of motivation. If you want to date an ambitious girl, there’s some stuff you should know.
- Frustration is inevitable. Don’t ever tell a woman with drive and big goals to calm down even if, to you, whatever is causing stress seems so minute. When you have big goals, you’re committed, when you’re committed you’re passionate, and when you’re passionate you set high standards for yourself. Frustration is inevitable, it’s part of caring. Instead of telling someone to calm down or offering unsolicited advice, just lend a listening ear and let her vent.
- Her goals are going to come first and if you want to avoid feeling lonely and neglected you better have some of your own, because even though her success is the end game she’ll still cheer you on and work with you if she knows you’ll both be with her at the top one day.
- There’s no such thing as casual. If an ambitious girl is willing to date you and take time out of her hectic schedule, you better be serious about her. If you see a girl who has everything going for her: goals, ambition, work ethic, and drive don’t disturb her unless you’re serious and what you feel is from you heart and not well… from somewhere else.
- Don’t be what slows her down. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s easy to be distracted by affection and attention. So if you’re lucky enough for her to take away her focus momentarily and put it on you, be a catalyst to her success– push with her and don’t be what slows her down. If you really care about her, you’ll either walk away if you’re not ready to work hard or you’ll find a way to keep up.
”Never limit yourself because of others’ limited imagination; never limit others because of your own limited imagination.” -Mae Jemison