Behind the Glamour

“For years I’ve looked at other people’s flowers and secretly wished for my own lush display. However, the glimpse of this man with his hands digging deep into the Earth brought a new revelation. He has a garden because he invests time and energy to make it. he didn’t wish it into being. He didn’t hope it into being. He didn’t just wake up one day and find that a garden of glorious blooms had miraculously popped up from the dirt. No. He worked at it. He sacrificed for it…it took effort, intentionality, sweat equity, and determination. Then it took time and commitment before he ever saw any fruit from his labor…I wanted the flowers but not the work. Isn’t that the way it is with many things in life — we want the results but have no desire to put in the work required?”

The last few weeks have been what I would consider “crunch time.” Our company is in a huge expansion phase and I’ve been so swamped with long work days that I have had time for literally nothing. I haven’t worked out and I can literally (obviously not literally) feel myself gaining weight, I am incredibly exhausted, and I haven’t written in what, to me, seems like forever.

So I want to touch upon something that the movies and most social media icons don’t, the reality of what it means to work like a woman and make a name for yourself.

When I set out on this journey in the business world, I found myself focusing on the glamour of it all. The perfectly manicured nails, the look of determination that could make a flower die, the tailored suits, and of course… the killer shoes (Louboutins, I’m still coming for you.)

But you can’t have the flowers in your lawn without putting your hands in the dirt, and I found that one out the hard way.

When I first started in this position I was all about my weekly Wednesday posts, my pictures on my Instagram (@sydneychoe #shamelessplug), and putting up a front of what I wanted to be. But the truth is, that’s not going to help anyone.

Movies make being the working girl look so glamorous, you live in penthouse apartments in NYC and go out all the time wearing perfect suits and amazing shoes without struggling for money even though you work at an entry level “marketing” job (which in reality displays 0 forms of real marketing.)

That’s what I pictured, that’s what I wanted, I’m 22 and a recent college graduate and I’ve always dreamed of glamour. So when I first started in my position I was all about making myself look like a boss babe. But it got old real quick when I realized I wasn’t anywhere close to where I wanted to be. The goals I have will always be real, but the work ethic wasn’t always backing it up.

About 6 weeks ago I re-evaluated my priorities. I cut out my gym time, didn’t focus so much on those perfectly set up self-timer shots, stopped writing about how to be a boss babe and started actually making a plan of action to get there.

4.5 weeks into my actual implementation of this plan of attack – and I’m working with the number one office on our campaign. *sigh of relief, picks up phone, gets ready to grow more.*

After I graduated I moved back in with my parents to start saving up money for a new car, eventually my own place,  but even more than that – the dreaded arrival of my first student loan repayment.

I leave their house early and most of the time I don’t get back home until 12-14 hours after I had left. While my work day is a typical 8-5:30, my goals aren’t constrained in that time frame and while it’s hard to explain to everyone why I work so many hours and don’t have time to be fun or energy to go out on weekends, I know that the day I get the keys for my office and kick up my Louboutins on my big girl desk while smiling at the view from the top – it’ll all be worth it.

You can’t have the glamour without the grit, and until I found that out I was on the fast track to no where.

It’s grow time, ladies and gents, and this boss babe in training is just getting started.


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